


and the mask falls away

by fishfingers_andcustard



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, I mean, M/M, No Beta, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Torture, Unrequited Love, i guess, im just tired and felt emotions, im trying for angst, merlin get hurt, oh no, thanks bbc, we die like eveyone seem to in merlin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-16 01:22:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fishfingers_andcustard/pseuds/fishfingers_andcustard
Summary: After Merlin is captured by an unknown force, he is tortured after he refuses to help.He believes he will die alone, his love for Arthur unrequited and once he's gone no-one to protect Arthur too.He thinks he failed his destiny.How wrong could he be?
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 18
Kudos: 59





	1. Chapter 1

Merlin was cold.  
  
It was the kind of cold that made you feel trapped, like you could never be warm again. The kind of cold that creeps inside your body and tries to reach every corner until the memory of the coldness can never be forgotten.  
  
He didn’t know where he was.  
  
His last memory gave no clues, it had been a typical day for Merlin so far.  
  
It had been the usual routine of waking up late, rushing to Arthur’s chambers trying desperately not to trip over nothing, waking Arthur, dodging the daily attack, ‘tidying’ and ‘cleaning’ Arthur's chambers whilst Arthur trained the new knights.  
  
But from there, his mind was blank. It was almost as if someone had specifically removed any memories from that point onwards. Merlin may not have been the most organised person with a good memory for where he left anything (Gauis had started leaving a basket outside their chambers for people to drop off anything Merlin had left lying around. So far he had lost: twelve neck scarves, his satchel for collecting herbs three times and one boot - Merlin wasn’t quite sure how he managed to do that considering he only had the one pair) but when it came to remembering about Arthur’s safety, he could never forget.  
Opening his eyes - not that it made much difference - he looked around the room he was in, although room was possibly too nice a word to describe it. The stone walls surrounding were covered in mold and dirt, with a small window uphigh letting in slivers of moonlight, the floor was hidden by filthy straw. The only door, solid wood and shut.  
  
There was visible no way out. Merlin tried to move and stand up, hoping was wrong, but he noticed his arms were weighed down with manacles.  
  
Cold iron manacles.  
  
Magic suppressing manacles.  
  
Trying not to panic, he sank back to the floor, wrapping his arms around his head trying to think carefully. He didn’t know whether any of the knights had also been taken but he selfishly hoped he wasn’t alone if his only skill had been stolen.  
  
Suddenly, he heard the faint sound of footsteps growing louder, then sound of a key being turned in a lock. The door opened, revealing a tall figure carrying a flaming torch.  
  
“Oh good, you're awake.” The man had a deep, harsh voice that sent shivers down his spine. “The Master wants to talk to you.”  
  
Merlin looked up at the stranger and forced a smile. “I don’t suppose it’s optional? If I’m being honest, I’d rather just go home.”  
  
The man laughed unkindly, moved forward to remove the chains (leaving the cuffs on, unfortunately) and forced Merlin to his feet. As the man pushed Merlin through the winding corridors, snickering as he stumbled, he tried to remember the route, but to no success.  
  
Eventually, they reached the throne room. The man knocked and without waiting for a response pushed open the doors dragged Merlin in front of the throne and forced him to his knees roughly; Merlin winced in pain as his knees crashed against the stone floor.  
  
“Well, young sorcerer,” the unknown voice hissed, “Welcome to my home, I trust you do not mind if we skip the pleasantries?”  
  
Merlin glanced up, choosing not to respond. Normally he ended up angering nobles unintentionally, this didn’t seem like a good time to upset one. The man upon the throne had a cold dimenour, his hair was wild and black as a raven. His woolen cape draped over his shoulders and pooled at his feet, yet also at his feet were bones that looked human, but he hoped they weren’t. (He chose not to think about that, worrying about becoming like that wasn’t going to help him escape). He realised that this man was one of the Kings from a small kingdom near Mercia that had visited Camelot a few weeks ago for the peace talks but he couldn't recall the name of the king nor the visitor. He did remember mentioning to Arthur how creepy and snake-like the man was (Arthur had laughed, then threatened him with the stocks, again) but at the time he was more focused on the attempted assaintation of his King. It was at this moment that Merlin remembered he never found out who was behind it,now he knew who the culprit must have been.  
  
“You have a choice, my friend,” The King continued, uncaring for the lack of response. “You can either join me and use your powers to take over Camelot, her allies and kill all who try and stop us-”  
  
“No!” Merlin interrupted, horrified at the thought.  
  
“Or, we can torture you until you lose your mind and when you have, we will burn you and send your remains back to Camelot. It’s your choice, but I hope for your sake you don’t choose the second option. I have men who have trained just for the purpose of removing a man from his sanity.”  
Merlin said nothing, whilst he didn't want to die (and would preferably like to avoid any pain, please) it was ridiculous even thinking about it. He would rather suffer for a thousand years than hurt any of his friends, than hurt Arthur. He stared into the King's cruel eyes, trying to understand how he knew about his magic. He had thought he was brilliant at keeping it a secret; he had survived in Camelot, the most magic hating place he knew, for years without most people knowing. How was it that a man he had never even spoken to knew?  
  
“Why do you need my help?” Merlin cautiously asked. “Surely, if you have warriors as great as you claim, you could easily overthrow any kingdom. Why do you need me?”  
  
The King sneered, annoyed at his question.  
  
“Because,” He slammed his against the arm of his throne. “I want guaranteed success and you, even though at first glance you seem weak and unworthy, are apparently the greatest sorcerer of our time. I need that power to have no chance at failure.”  
Merlin held his chin up in defiance. “I would never help a tyrant like you win a war, I will not hurt anyone you ask. I would rather die.” he said boldly with a slight waiver in his voice.  
  
The king scowled, not expecting Merlin’s loyalty.  
  
“Don’t you want revenge for how Camelot treats your people? Are you so blinded by your love for a man who will never love you back? Fine, you will have your wish. But not too soon I hope, I did warn you that you would suffer greatly if you refused to help.” He waved his hand in dismissal, turning to one of his guards, ordering him to organise a meeting to review the situation  
  
As Merlin was pulled back to his cell, his heart sank. His other secret, his love for Arthur, he had also thought he managed to keep hidden from everyone. He knew Arthur would never love him back, never as much as he loved Arthur but the confirmation made it worse.  
  
He was thinking so hard, he didn't realise they had passed his cell and travelled further into the dungeons. It was only when they entered a large room with a wooden rack in the centre he realised his torture was beginning straight away. He struggled against his captor, but another guard came and and together they forced Merlin to the rack.  
  
They undid his cuffs, but before Merlin had a chance to do any magic, they forced a foul smelling potion down his throat. When the mug was empty, he tried to do a spell to free himself from their grasp but the guards only laughed and continued tying Merlin face down.  
  
They had given him a potion to block his magic, he was still defenceless. He had no hope of anyone finding him, he was alone and would die and no-one would know.  
  
Tears started to slowly flow down his face as his hands were bound tightly, the guards laughing harder once they realised he was crying. Once they were sure he was secure, they left taking with them the only source of light.  
  
Merlin cried himself to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin suffers a little bit. :)

Merlin awoke to a bucket of ice cold water being thrown over him. Gasping and spluttering, he tried to catch a glimpse of who was there, but the way he was tied down made it impossible to turn and see. 

“Hello?” he quietly called.

“Hello,” the voice answered. “My name is Henry, I can’t wait to get started.” He spoke softly, but his excitement was clear and it frightened Merlin. Ice cold fingers suddenly came up behind his neck stroking softly, sending shivers through Merlin's body, Henry chuckled at his discomfort. He let go of Merlin’s neck, turned around and picked something up. When he came back, Merlin heard the sound of fabric being sliced and realised his tunic was being cut up.

The fabric on his back fell away, the cold air hitting him like a wall. Henry forced his finger underneath Merlin to remove the front half. Merlin could hear him humming happily to himself as he discarded the destroyed tunic. Trying to calm himself, Merlin attempted to distract himself.  
He thought of his mother, the mother could have asked for. So loving, so kind, so brave, she had taught him all she could and he regretted not visiting her more. It was a long journey to Ealdor, and he had always said he would visit again but the last time he had seen her had been when he had nearly killed her trying to save Arthur. 

He thought about Gaius, his unexpected father figure. The man who had supported him and loved him. The person who reassured Merlin he wasn’t a monster when he felt the lowest.

He thought of Gwen, his first friend when he arrived in Camelot. Her endearing ramblings, her bravery when she rescued Leon and her sweet kind nature even though she had suffered at the hands of Uther. 

He thought of the Knights, Leon the first knight who had spoken to him kindly, when the rest of Uther’s knights had bullied Merlin. Lancelot, the man who knew his secret but hadn't given him up, instead becoming a close confidant and friend. Elyan, the sweet man who somehow always knew when Merlin needed help, and was there to offer assistance when needed. Percival, who defended Merlin when the new Knights chose to take out their anger on Merlin and continued to check up on him. Gwaine, the man who was ready to fight for Merlin and ready to tell Merlin to rest when he got distracted and forgot to take care of himself.

He thought of Morgana, he felt regret for not helping her sooner, regret for poisoning her when he had no other choice, however his anger for her actions made him feel guilty. He had not heard word of her since he had killed her immortal army (and her sister, but honestly, he felt Morgause had deserved it)

And he thought of Arthur.

He remembered their first meeting, how much Arthur had grown since then. A prattish, proud, stuck up prince who chose to bully his servant to make himself look good, to a man Merlin loved for his . He was brave, he stood against his father when he believed Uther was wrong, he chose kindness rather than fear to rule his people. He was slightly jealous of Gwen but he loved them both too much to stand in the way of their happiness, and he knew. 

A sharp, stinging pain suddenly yanked Merlin away from his thoughts. He heard a loud crack as Henry brought a whip down with unbelievable strength, hitting his back a cutting into the skin. 

He bit his lip, desperate not to cry out and give his torturer the satisfaction at how painful it was. 

He lost count of how many times it had been, stroke after stroke after stroke, each time in a different direction on a different patch of skin until his entire back felt on fire. 

Eventually, Merlin couldn’t stay quiet and screamed as the whip sliced deeper than any of the others. 

Although he couldn't see it, he could feel the pride coming from Henry and could sense that the man was smiling. He gave another brutal stroke of the whip, but then to Merlin's confusion, he just stopped and walked away. 

Pressing his face against the rack, Merlin tried to take calm breaths. He could feel warm blood, his blood, running down onto the surface and pooling by his sides. The man returned, placing a bucket near Merlin's head, causing him to tense in anticipation. He could sense that whatever was inside was tainted with a wicked magic, sending waves of repulsion over him.

Out of the corner of his eye he watched as his torturer pulled a handful of something and poured the strange substance over his back, rough hands pressing it into the open wounds. 

He had never experienced pain like it before. His body screamed, rejecting the cursed substance. It felt ants had crawled beneath his skin, like his blood had been replaced with a burning fire, like a thousand knives simultaneously cutting even more cuts on him. 

“No, no! Please, no,” Merlin begged, writhing in the restraints. “Please, just stop!”

He faintly heard chuckles in the background, the man clearly gaining pleasure from Merlin’s begging and cries of pain. 

He walked round the table, into Merlin's eyesight and making eye contact with him as he pulled a torch from the wall. He knelt down in front of him, their faces incredibly close. Merlin was able to feel the warm breath as Henry started into his eyes, fascinated by the expressions of suffering and fear. 

He moved the torch until it was inches from Merlin’s trapped hand. He inched it closer, watching Merlin as he desperately tried to pull away from the flames but to no avail. The smell of burning flesh, his flesh, filled his nose as he whimpered and cursed out. 

The torch was removed, and the blistered skin was visible. The sight made him feel sick, the pain it caused left him more lightheaded.

Henry smirked in satisfaction.

“I think that’s enough for today,” he hissed softly into Merlin’s ear. “But be prepared for tomorrow. This is just the beginning”

He summoned the guards, carelessly telling them to return Merlin to his cell. 

They freed him from his restraints, each guard grabbing an arm, not bothering to let him try to walk and dragged him along the uneven floor. Every time they caught Merlin on a stone, a flood of pain washed over him, causing him to cry out. 

When they returned to his cell, the men escorting him roughly kicked Merlin down as he entered, slamming the door leaving him in darkness. 

Now alone, Merlin felt safe to let himself cry freely. He curled up on the floor, straw sticking to the sticky blood, hugging himself tightly trying to fight the cold. The silence of the night only interrupted by his sobs and gasps, and chilling noises from outside his window. 

He didn't know if anyone would have noticed that he was missing yet, if Arthur had sent out search parties, if the Knights were on their way to rescue him from the unfamiliar lands. He didn't actually know how long it had been since he had been gone. It could have only been hours, or it could have been weeks. If his captor had used magic to kidnap him, it could have been longer than he had originally thought. 

As the hours passed, drifting in and out of sleep, the pain slowly subsided. He could think clearer now, his magic no longer upset but the wounds on his back were burning, possibly infected. The sun had started to rise, sending golden rays into his prison. 

He moved to rub his face, trying to wipe the dried tears from his cheeks when he froze and realised something that ignited a spark of hope deep within.   
His hand had healed somehow overnight. 

The suppressor had worn off, they had forgotten to re-cuff him.

He had his magic back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long gap between updates, felt a little depressed and struggled to write.   
> Hope you enjoy :))

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic, so i hope it's ok :)  
> kudos, comments and thoughts are very much appreciated :))


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